sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
