capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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