whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
