But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Someone shit on the floor
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
