im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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