I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
