So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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