Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
