Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
