There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
