My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
