we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize