i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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