is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
