I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
