Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
