I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
