it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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