Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
