Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize