I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
