The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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