I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
