Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize