i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Quick, to the slutcave!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Sorry about my life...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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