She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
