ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
