well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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