YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
