Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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