yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
