i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
