I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
