The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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