You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
