I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
