While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
