we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So much rum. So many feels.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
