Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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