he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
