man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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