you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize