big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
