I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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