apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize