and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
