Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
