told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
