Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
too bad you live with your parents still
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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