had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
