if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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