Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think your dad took our porno
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So apparently I’m into choking now
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
