Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
