Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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