"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
