Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
