Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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