we're chasing vodka with high fives
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I can't put those talents on a resume
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
