how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
