Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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