Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize