D3 body, D1 cock
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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