I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
