I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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