I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We left the knife in your bed.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
