They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
